DELUSIONS OF ADEQUACY

cop shoots, family doesn't want to sue ... that's news!

2005-10-11T06:57:00.000-07:00

I read a news item yesterday about a cop fataly shooting an armed suspect during an altercation. Quite refreshingly, the suspect's family was interviewed, and said while they mourn their own loss ... their hearts also go out to the cop, and they hope that he and his family don't have too much stress and anxiety over the shooting either.

To be sure ... I'm no apologist for cops ... but the guy was armed, and attacking. An editorial later in the paper called for "greater use of non-lethal force" ... the usual mushy-headed crap you get from some tweed jacket with elbow patch-wearin, pipe-smokin, original copy of "Leaves of Grass"-havin, pointy-headed, ivory tower, long-haired, yankee, hippie-sass. The fella wants more non lethal force ... he suggested tranquilizer darts. Is this public safety or Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom?!? Can't you just hear Marlon Perkins narrate the incident:

"That criminal has a razor sharp knife. Watch as officer Jim attempts to subdue the attacking criminal with a pillow-like blow to the midsection."

The writer goes on to suggest that the officer "aim for the legs instead of the heart." This idiot has obviously never watched Olympic shooting events. These are the best shooters on the face of the earth armed with higly accurate riffles. Not to mention that armed iddiots aren't charging them ... and they sometimes miss the target. But this Prius-drivin turd wants a cop in an altercation to aim for the legs. Please ... when will the morons stop spewing their idiocy?

Shut up and smile Cameron

2005-10-07T13:42:00.000-07:00

Just saw an add for the new Cameron Diaz chick flick: "In Her Shoes." We need another hackneyed Diaz vehicle like the president of the chess club needs a cold sore on prom night. Do us all a favor Cameron ... just pose for pictures, or donate your kidneys to science.

Prosthetic Balls for Neutered Dogs ...

2005-10-07T07:41:00.000-07:00

No ... I'm not kidding. Truth is stranger than fiction. Click the story headline above to get the link for the story. This guy has made a million dollars selling fake balls to people with neutered dogs. I suppose this boosts the dog's self-esteem ... especially if they give him bigger balls! On the one hand, I think ... What a country! If you can become a millionaire like this, than there are no limits to what we can all achieve. On the other hand, I worry about the idiots who payed cash for fake balls for their dogs. Can we make it a requirement that if you buy the fake balls, you can't have children yourself? These morons are wading in the shallow end of the gene pool, and the lifeguard needs to throw them out. Otherwise, their kids could end up in class with my kids, and slow everybody down.

Stop The Burger King PLEASE!!!!

2005-10-07T06:58:00.000-07:00

I saw the Burger King ad with the lumberjack last night. This guy is too creepy for television. Is a guy with a giant head and tights the way you really want to go for a spokesman? He must be stopped in our lifetime.

I had a nightmare last night that he was in league with the gophers in my back yard on a mission to mock me and destroy my lawn. He was standing at the back of my lot line with that disturbung permagrin and sending forth squadrons of the creepy little vermin to dig holes relentlessly. My Daisy air rifle couldn't keep up with the onslought ... my window became the top floor of the Dallas Book repository, and the pump action wasn't fast enough. I was dropping the tiny bastards like flies, but there were just too many. My alarm rang just as the two-teeth little monsters began to overrun me, and the giant-headed, homo-erotic freak was cackling as he sent forth more legions.

End the madness and pull this clown from the airwaves!

traveling doofus

2005-10-06T20:46:00.000-07:00

A guy in front of me in line at the airport complained that he had the same name as someone on "George W. Bush's Terrorist Watch List." He said since his wife forgot to give his middle initial when she booked a flight for him a few months ago, it always takes him extra time when he checks in. I asked him if he really thought George composed the list, and if he thought the list would go away in January, 2009 when we have a new president.

C'mon now ... wherever you are on the political spectrum ... who really thinks it is "George W. Bush's Watch List?" I'm sure there are some idiots with tin foil on their heads and high-res photos of the grassy knoll who might think this ... but they also think we never actually landed on the moon.

This guy was so dumb, i wonder how he gets dressed in the morning.

"Lost" has lost me

2005-10-06T20:04:00.000-07:00

I watched "LOST" last night. Am I alone, or did it occur to anyone else that the dude in the bunker pressing the button was a metaphor for we sorry slugs who tune in every week thinking we'll get some answers? The writers must have been giggling like school girls doing whip-its with whipped cream cans when they penned this little twist. Newsflash: you're not going to get any answers. Because when you do, the show will be over. And when it is over, the people who are getting paid to keep it going, will stop getting paid.